SPAIN (Whacked Planet) - Imam Mohamed Kamal Mustafa, author of the controversial book Women In Islam , was released today after serving a fifteen month sentence in a Spanish prison. Mustafa had thought he was on his way to fame and fortune and possibly the Oprah Winfrey show after publishing his book but saw his hopes dashed when a Spanish court sentenced him to prison for provoking violence. The book had instructed Muslim men on the proper methods of beating their wives without leaving bru...
ROCHESTER, Minn. – In an effort to fight childhood obesity some elementary schools in Minnesota have removed desks from classrooms and are now eliminating books as well. The idea behind the experiment is that by shedding desks students would be able to shed a few pounds as well. As for why the schools are also eliminating books, Dr. James Levine a researcher at the Mayo Clinic stated, “I have no idea.” Deskless students are required to stand and move around and may sit down on the fl...
Wayne Holsom, the man who unsuccessfully tried hiring an undercover police officer to murder his wife's cat heads to court Wednesday. Prosecutors aren't saying exactly what they plan to charge Holsom with as no actual harm occurred to the cat in question. Holsum's wife for her part is demanding the death penalty for her soon to be ex-husband. With their constant quarreling and shouting the Holsum's were the second most hated family on their street second only to "the weird Mormons with the...
DALLAS (Whacked Planet) – No one in Dallas expected two graduating seniors to be arrested for serving marijuana laced brownies to the Lake Highlands High School teacher staff. So it comes as quite a shock to report that one of the teachers poisoned by the THC containing brownies, has recently been arrested for possession of cannabis. Seymour Smith, a Physical Education teacher at Lake Highlands High School was arrested Wednesday in the High School’s parking lot while eating what local Pol...
NABLUS, West Bank - Israeli troops killed the world renown Bobo the clown in an air strike Sunday against a Palestinian home where he was entertaining a group of Arab children. The attack has left experts on Middle Eastern affairs completely baffled. The question they and everyone else has been asking is why Bobo the clown, and why now? Maj. Gen. Udi Adam head of Israelfs Northern command who may or may not have had anything to do with the air strike commented, gThe real question the med...
Iran's supreme leader Sayyid Ali Khameini participated in a question and answer session on his website ww.leader.ir/langs/EN/index.php. His hope was to educate and give advice to Iranians on the Muslim holy month of Ramadan. Below is a brief transcript of those messages. K: Thank you everyone for joining me in this wonderful new medium with which we can discuss matters of importance relating to the holy month of Ramadan. Please ask your questions freely. A: How many times is it ok to ma...
ISLAMABAD Turkey (WP) – Barely a moment had passed before angry Muslims across the Middle East took to the streets after the Pope quoted a14th-century Byzantine emperor who had made disparaging remarks towards Islam. Later reports indicated that riots and killing actually erupted after only the first word of the Pope’s speech. “Down with the Pope and down with Michelangelo’s Fresco!” screamed Kali Mohammed Mohammed in front of a Mosque in a small town outside of Islamabad. “I work at KF...
In an interview with Matt Lauer, Debra LaFave the red hot Florida school teacher who molested a boy in her classroom displayed the typical personality trait of a sociopath by regretting having gotten caught rather than regretting the crime itself. LaFave who in school hallways went by the nickname "Layfavors" described her victim as a "Tattle-tale." LaFave has vowed to never have sex with any 14 year olds again. According to anonymous sources, LaFave was shocked and disappointed to learn that...
QUEENSLAND, Australia (Whacked Planet) – Steve Irwin known by wildlife throughout the swamps of the world as ‘That Idiot Again’ but more widely known among humans as the ‘Crocodile Hunter’ has died. Irwin was stung through the chest by a stingray while filming an underwater segment off the Australian coast for his daughter’s TV series. The stingray is said to be “distraught” over what it says was a tragic accident. “I didn’t mean to kill him. I didn’t even see him. I was just waving to Di...
LONDON (Whacked Planet) - Adnan Hajj the former Reuters photographer who was fired after he was discovered altering images with Photoshop, has asked for his job back. Hajj now claims that he was a victim of a “Zionist conspiracy.” According to Hajj, none of his photographs were doctored or exaggerated in any way. [On the left the altered image. The unaltered image on the right.] Since being fired, employment opportunities have been few and far between for Hajj. Lately his freelance ...
As a last gesture of goodwill, Japan's departing Ground Self Defense Force (GSDF) will be giving an additional 800 sheep as a gift to Iraqis living in the city of Samawah. Samawah is where the GSDF had conducted its first military operation outside of Japan's territory since the end of World War II. Two years ago Japan wowed local Iraqis by introducing 110 sheep into the Iraqi populace. The gift was met with such enthusiasm that now Japan has decided to send even more sheep. Explainin...
WASHINGTON (WP) – Flag burning has always been a hot topic and nobody knows that more than 28 yr old Cory Martin. A drunken hippie from Vermont, Cory was severely burned last week at a flag burning support rally when he mistook his shirt—which bore an American flag design—for an actual flag. “I could have sworn it was a real flag, the stars, the stripes—f*ck, ow, oh God ow!” lamented Martin beneath yards of medical bandages and monitoring wires. The flag shirt that Martin has no recol...
SPAIN (Whacked Planet) - Imam Mohamed Kamal Mustafa, author of the controversial book Women In Islam , was released today after serving a fifteen month sentence in a Spanish prison. Mustafa had thought he was on his way to fame and fortune and possibly the Oprah Winfrey show after publishing his book but saw his hopes dashed when a Spanish court sentenced him to prison for provoking violence. The book had instructed Muslim men on the proper methods of beating their wives without leaving bru...
ROCHESTER, Minn. – In an effort to fight childhood obesity some elementary schools in Minnesota have removed desks from classrooms and are now eliminating books as well. The idea behind the experiment is that by shedding desks students would be able to shed a few pounds as well. As for why the schools are also eliminating books, Dr. James Levine a researcher at the Mayo Clinic stated, “I have no idea.” Deskless students are required to stand and move around and may sit down on the fl...
Wayne Holsom, the man who unsuccessfully tried hiring an undercover police officer to murder his wife's cat heads to court Wednesday. Prosecutors aren't saying exactly what they plan to charge Holsom with as no actual harm occurred to the cat in question. Holsum's wife for her part is demanding the death penalty for her soon to be ex-husband. With their constant quarreling and shouting the Holsum's were the second most hated family on their street second only to "the weird Mormons with the...