QUEENSLAND, Australia (Whacked Planet) – Steve Irwin known by wildlife throughout the swamps of the world as ‘That Idiot Again’ but more widely known among humans as the ‘Crocodile Hunter’ has died. Irwin was stung through the chest by a stingray while filming an underwater segment off the Australian coast for his daughter’s TV series. The stingray is said to be “distraught” over what it says was a tragic accident.
“I didn’t mean to kill him. I didn’t even see him. I was just waving to Dinkums an octopus buddy of mine,” said the stingray.
The stingray claims that it was the waving gesture of its tail that killed Irwin.
A diver who was near Irwin when the attack occurred - and who chooses to remain anonymous for fear of reprisal from the aquatic community - tells a different story.
“It weren’t no accident mate. That bloomin stingray had it out for ‘ol Stevie,” said the diver while glancing nervously at the crabs crawling nearby on the beach.
When reached for comment later the Stingray rejected any accusations that it had killed Steve intentionally. “I didn’t murder Steve Irwin. Steve was a nice guy. I rather liked the mate,” insisted the stingray. “I really was just waving at Pepper a seahorse pal of mine.”
Whether or not the Stingray was telling the truth, the loss of Australia’s most recognized personality is being mourned all across the world – except Iraq where they have allegedly more important things to mourn over. Irwin along with his American expatriate wife Terri, was a champion of wildlife conservation and reportedly once said to a friend, “I’d die to save a crocodile or a king cobra. There aren’t enough of those blokes out there in the wild.”
Wes Mannion, an old friend and co-worker at Irwin’s Australia Zoo wildlife park on the Sunshine Coast, had this to say about Irwin’s death, “I’m sure he isn’t happy up there knowin he’d met his demise by a motherfu**ing poncy ‘ol stingray. Steve would have wanted to go out by way of crocodile or at least a great white shark.”
Unlike ‘Grizzly Man’ Timothy Treadwell’s death, Irwin’s demise brings sadness to millions of fans and wildlife alike. To those that loved him for his daredevil antics and those that were envious of his tan, Steve Irwin is simply irreplacable.